Everyone has their favorite and least favorite times of the year.  Some people love the winter holidays; other abhor them.  Some love summer, some love winter and hate the opposite.

Me?  I hate April.

The only sporting events in April that are worth a damn are the NCAA Final Fours in hoops and the Frozen Four in NCAA hockey.  That’s it.  And they’re done so quickly that you’re left dealing with howling winds and crab grass.

Don’t tell me about the Boston Marathon, the opening of Major League Baseball, the early round of the NHL Playoffs and for damn sure the NFL Draft.  When did that thing – the draft – become a media event?  Actually, I know when it did: When the four-letter network became full of crap. (Everyone agrees that ESPN is full of crap.  The only argument is pinpointing the exact day it happened.  I submit for your consideration the first day that Stuart Scott uttered “Boo-Yah”.)

And for purebred high school guys like me, April is just an abomination.  There are no championship events in April, and when you think about it, that makes April a rare bird.  High school sports in Pennsylvania begin in August and end in June.   The only months that have no district or PIAA championship events are August, September, January and April.  July is vacation, and vacation trumps everything else.

August and September don’t count.  First, August is practice and run-up to the start of the season.  August is all about re-catching the fever.  Plus the missus usually busts out the swimsuits in North Carolina.  So August is cool.

September?  Anyone with a pulse and a brain (better with both) is cranked about regular-season football, be it high school, college and the NFL.  OK, the other sports get a pat on the head, too, but let’s be honest: They’re just not violent enough.  (On the other hand, I saw 23 field hockey games  and 17 HS football games last fall, so what does that say?)

Bottom line: September is a great month, lack of playoffs notwithstanding.

January?  So much going on across the board.  It starts with major bowl games and ends with positioning for winter sports scholastic playoffs and the business end of the NFL playoff stick.  It’s interesting.  The TV is full, the house is warm and this past January you could walk the dogs without being assaulted by -10 degree wind chills.

Then comes April.  I have no inherent dislike for spring sports – I’ve loved track and field ever since Nick Horvath forced me to cover it for The Patriot-News in 1989 (pole … what?) – and I grew up as a baseball guy.  So it’s not the sports themselves.  On the other hand, does the Patriot-News run GameDay features for baseball and softball? Lacrosse? Girls soccer?  Didn’t think so.  And for good reason.  There’s just no escaping the fact that fall sports and spring sports reside on differently psychological planets.

Hell, the PIAA doesn’t even meet in April. (I know.  You just stopped reading.)  Is it any surprise, then, that I haven’t posted a thing on this site since March 29?  Why should I post boredom?  Although I should get around to re-posting the PIAA records on my site that were damaged in a plug-in assault over the winter.  I guess April would be a good time to do that.

Since sports rules my worlds and April is the weakest sports month of the year, I just wish the month away as soon as possible on that basis alone.

The deeper reasons, of course, are taxes (God, please smite the IRS, the Pennsylvania Department of revenue and every  other life-draining taxing body out there … oh, and public-sector unions, while You’re at it) and the fact that I became engaged to the ex in April.  Lots of bad memories in April.

And there aren’t enough sports to wash it away.

But I see May is just three weeks away.  That’s three weeks too many.

UPDATE:  Think I was off my ever-slowing rocker?  Here’s some supporting evidence: TAX DAY KILLS

 

  3 Responses to “I hate April”

  1. I take it you would favor switching the NCAA wrestling qualifying to the 1st weekend and the 3rd after the ball bouncing championships?

  2. It would definitely ratchet down my hatred of April.

  3. Well, it could be worse, at least you get the Olympic Wrestling Trials this year.

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